A BIGGER BED FOR THE HONEYMOON
No closet was big enough to hold Anthony Kennedy, but he came out of something dank and dark somewhere to liberate the gay caballeros. It certainly wasn’t the law. Not even the law could accommodate the purple emotional theatrics he poured into the Supreme Court’s decision rendering the Defense of Marriage Act null, void, mean, cruel, worthless and probably fattening.
When he wrote that Congress, in enacting the Defense of Marriage Act in 1996, acted with the deliberate intention to “disparage and injure” same-sex couples, he tried to put everyone who disagrees with him beyond the limits of human decency. No more Mr. Nice Guy in the wedding chapel.
Antonin Scalia’s dissent, written more in disbelief and incredulity than in the anger attributed to him by critics envious of his way with the language, decried his colleague’s “legalistic argle-bargle” (a particularly clever phrase). “By formally declaring anyone opposed to same-sex marriage an enemy of human decency, the majority arms well every challenger to a state law restricting marriage to its traditional definition.”
Justice Antonin Scalia (Courtesy United States Mission Geneva)
Mr. Scalia, in fact, sounds like a man who knows what’s coming next, and what’s next, if not tomorrow then not later than Tuesday, is the radical idea of group marriage, with an infinite number of husbands and wives. Lawyers are stitching their briefs now. There’s an old name for it and a new movement pushing it, with the requisite professors with Ph.Ds spouting esoteric and exotic (if not necessarily erotic) names for everything, and even a magazine deploying visions of a noisy new world with enough snoring, nagging and burping to satisfy satyr or sinner.