MY SAY: THE FAIL-SAFE COLLEGE APPLICATION

Posted By on July 29th, 2018

This is the silly season of college applications for seniors throughout the nation. Besides scores and grades and recommendations, the essay is paramount in garnering attention. So here is an essay that is bound to gain consideration and even an offer of a scholarship:

“I don’t know if I identify as a male or female and I am open to all possibilities. I apply to college with serious doubts.

I doubt the value of capitalism; I doubt the concept of American exceptionalism; I doubt that we are a Democracy; I doubt the motives of our military – the fascist ground troops trained to commit war crimes in imperial conquest; I doubt that socialism and communism are as bad as racist right wing conservatives pretend; I doubt the culture that promotes music, prose and poetry with its recondite racism; I doubt the integrity of the slave owning founding “parents.”

I would rather study the mores and gentle life style of the Dayak people of Borneo and learn to speak Ngaju, than all Western culture.

I know that the syllabus and faculty of your great institution will focus on and allay all my doubts with facts and truth.

Please consider me for the freshman class of September 2019.”

Categorized under: ANTI-SEMITISM.
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