ERIC GOLUB: S&P DOWNGRADES OBAMA’S REELECTION TO JUNK STATUS
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LOS ANGELES, August 8, 2011—In a move that shocked President Obama and everybody else dedicated to obliviousness, Standard and Poors downgraded the Obama presidency to junk status.
In an effort to soften the blow, the spelling was changed to junque, pointing out that Mr. Obama could at least refer to himself as “the cream of the cr@p.”
His dazed leftist supporters were left to argue about whether to say that the downgrade did not matter, or that it did but it was everybody else’s fault.
Mr. Obama argued that Standard and Poors was wrong with the same passion that a young boy in 1980 argued that his teacher was wrong in handing out a bad grade. When my…ahem, I mean this anonymous young boy’s…father was brought this argument, the response was “You’re not God. You don’t get to decide this. That is why the teacher is the teacher and you are the student.”
While it did take several hours for the message to get through the boy’s thick skull, this was amateur stubborness compared to the man who after half of a century of life still argues his own righteousness.
The first broadside came against Standard and Poors for failing to see the 2008 crash. This is nonsensical. They refused to downgrade securities which led to a crash. Now they are taking steps not to make the same mistake. For this they are criticized for issuing a downgrade. What should they do, wait for America to crash so they can get blamed again for inaction? Who does Barack Obama think is running Standard and Poors, Barney Frank?
Realizing that most voters will not blame the ratings agency for doing its job honestly, Obama supporters rapidly comprised a list of who else to blame. Standard and Poors was underwhelmed.
Congressional Republicans were out of power when the worst spending took place. Democrats controlled everything for two years and spent into the stratosphere. Republicans had no power to stop them.
Sarah Palin was rejected as a cause given that she has never held a role in the federal government.
George W. Bush left office in 2008, allowing Barack Obama to “inherit” a AAA rating.
The Koch Brothers and Grover Norquist were not blamed given that their biggest “crimes” seemed to be participating in the political process and advancing causes they believe in. Those causes involve reducing spending.
Fox News and Rush Limbaugh apparently were in the private sector offering a combination of news and opinion, with nobody directly affiliated with them ever taking a vote on a federal budget issue.
The Tea Party is the next in line to be blamed, but this assertion is even less credible than President Obama’s protests over the downgrading of America. Mr. Obama’s spending sprees concerned ratings agencies before the Tea Party movement ever existed. The Tea Party was the response and anti-dote to reckless spending, not the cause of it.
Standard and Poors has to say that nobody in particular is to blame because criticizing a man with the IRS and predator drones at his disposal is not good for business. Mr. Obama is rather thin-skinned, and he would happily put Standard and Poors out of business (hopefully with the IRS and not the drones) to save himself.
- Standard and Poors wanted a budget deal with four trillion dollars in real spending cuts. They made it clear that the main cuts had to come from entitlements.
- Mr. Obama agreed to a deal that contained nowhere near the required four trillion overall and zero real cuts in entitlements.
- The Tea Party was against the deal because it did not go far enough. Standard and Poors issued the downgrade because the deal did not go far enough.
For the left to advance an argument that the Tea Party is to blame for a bad deal that the Tea Party opposed is lunacy, even by liberal standards.
The week before the deal was signed, Tea Party attendees were called “hostage takers” and “terrorists.” Americans were told that a deal had to be reached to avert a shutdown and protect our credit rating. A deal was signed that left the Tea Party out in the cold. Our credit rating was downgraded anyway.
Only in Obamaworld could a bad deal rejected by creditors be blamed on the very people who opposed the deal and voted against it because they knew it would be rejected by creditors. No wonder Barack Obama has been downgraded to junque status.
What else does one do with a man who speaks like a calculus professor but flunks remedial mathematics and accounting 101? Even worse, this is the man who wants to control education!
Paul Ryan offered a budget that cut over six trillion dollars. Obama offered nothing. Then various proposals were made offering four trillion in cuts. Obama did nothing. A deal was finally agreed to that allowed Obama to sign on the dotted line. It cut nothing. Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid have not offered a budget in over two years. Like Mr. Obama, they offered nothing.
Continuing the nothingness theme, the downgrade has absolutely nothing to do with the wars in Iraq or Afghanistan. It has nothing to do with the Bush tax cuts. It has everything to do with entitlements. The left wants to expand entitlements. They want to raise taxes not to balance the budget, but to fund yet even more spending on more entitlements.
This is why the left will kick and scream and cry and claim that S & P executives are either unqualified dolts or malicious liars (as usual they will take polls to see which strategy works better) in the pockets of nefarious anti-Obama forces. They truly believe that everybody else is wrong and they are right.
They truly believe that we should “invest” more money in education, environmental extremism, government-run healthcare, and high speed rail.
Conservatives understand that we already spend more on education than anybody else with utterly miserable results.
Conservatives know that the Chevy Volt may be the worst car in the history of automobiles. Even many liberals will not purchase this boondoggle.
Conservatives grasp that Obamacare is what destroyed our credit rating since it is the largest entitlement program in American history and entitlements are what is strangling the America economy.
Conservatives are not interested in Buck Rodgers fantasies when austerity is needed. Mr. Obama is too old to be playing with trains. Somebody replace his toy trains and eco-cars with sleek Matchbox cars.
On every issue, conservatives wanted to restrain government spending and liberals wanted government to spend more money and grab more power.
So let me as a private citizen speak since unlike Standard and Poors, I am not under any coercion (yet).
Barack Obama is the problem. He is an anti-business, anti-growth, spendaholic who embraces destructive policies with all the enthusiasm of a Hollywood celebrity freebasing cocaine off of their fellow liberal elitist celebrity’s buttocks.
It is time for detox. President Obama once did cocaine and marijuana. He quit.
Barack Obama once smoked cigarettes. He (allegedly) quit.
Now his addictive personality needs to get rid of the spending habit.
The Tea Party tried to cut up his credit cards not because they hate him but because they love the America that was given to them by their parents and grandparents.
Sarah Palin and various presidential candidates criticize the spending not because Mr. Obama is black but because his binges leave us all financially black and blue.
Standard and Poors staged an intervention in an attempt to prevent worldwide catastrophe.
The Tea Party did the best they could in a losing effort to get President Obama to give up his financial pipe dreams.
America was downgraded on Barack Obama’s watch after he had been in office nearly three years.
The downgrade is his fault.
The solutions will not be forthcoming from him because he does not have any. He and his supporters have only the ability and willingness to blame the very people trying to fix the problem.
The only solution is for Barack Obama and his junque status presidency to be downgraded one notch further to that of private citizen. He can spend his remaining days in a straitjacket locked in a white-walled rubber room with Al Gore, John Kerry, Paul Krugman, Joan Walsh, and every other failed elitist who advocated the destruction of a once AAA nation built by ordinary people who spent within their means.
Mr. Obama, you are out of effective weapons. You are a predator drone that missed its target. Your financial practices and policies are predatory toward real workers trying to work at real jobs. You drone on and on hoping that boring people to death will lead to economic revival. Financial markets are bigger than you, and they don’t like you.
It’s over Mr. Obama. Everything you have touched has turned to ashes. The very sanctity and honor that is the full faith and credit of the United States of America is dead.
Now and forever, that is the Barack Obama legacy. That is leftist carnage and rot we can believe in.
Brooklyn born, Long Island raised, and now living in Los Angeles, Eric Golub is a politically conservative columnist, blogger, author, public speaker, satirist and comedian. Read more from Eric at his TYGRRRR EXPRESS blog.
Eric is the author of the book trilogy “Ideological Bigotry, “Ideological Violence,” and “Ideological Idiocy.” Eric is 100% alcohol, tobacco, drug, and liberalism free. After years of dating liberals, he has finally seen the light and now only dates Republican Jewish women. His family is pleased over this. Republican, Jewish women, you may contact Eric above.
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