https://townhall.com/columnists/kurtschlichter/2020/02/06/three-glorious-days-of-democrat-agony-n2560771?
So, February 3, 4, and 5, 2020 were pretty much the most miserable three days in the history of the Democratic Party. I’m not laughing, really I’m not! You know how sometimes you have a bad day when nothing goes right? Well, these super-achievers managed to triple that streak. They are achievers in the same sense Hoover Snort Biden is an achiever.
Let’s start with Monday, February 3rd and the Iowa Caucuses. In their defense, it wasn’t like they had four years to get prepared to handle…counting. Oh wait, they did have four years to handle…counting. Okay, well, then in their defense they went to unionized failing government schools, so counting is hard. But not for the Republicans, who managed to count their votes just fine.
As of when you read this, they might still not have actual numbers. Audie Murphy Buttigieg, Crusty Commie Curmudgeon and Chief Sitting Bolshevik may well all still be claiming victory, while Gropey J’s handlers are likely still complaining about the process and Not Senile Joe himself is chasing an uppity squirrel around a Nashua park.
One thing for sure – Mr. Electible is done for. He started off Monday arguing with liberal Savannah Guthrie on NBC about how his stripperphilic brat got his Ukrainian gig by being really “bright.” He ended up serenaded by sad trombones as he was hustled out of Des Moines to head east to try and salvage the S.S. Lusitania that is his latest presidential campaign.
The Dems are not only dealing with this massive show of incompetence – “Okay, counting a few thousand ballots is beyond our abilities, but taking over the entire health care system will totally go smoothly” – but also coming to the realization that none of their three remaining candidates has any appeal outside a faculty lounge, gulag, or in the case of Warren, a second-tier casino.
In the wings, perched on a couple telephone books, is Mike Bloomberg, waiting to try to buy his way in as the sensible sorta-center candidate. Seems like a good plan. When the Bernie bros are once again denied their victory by the blatant cheating of the Democrat establishment, they’ll flock to the bite-sized billionaire. He’ll totally get the nomination, or in his case, the gnome-ination.
Quick, what is the name of a person in your life who would vote for the Verne Troyer of American politics? And that shrug you just gave demonstrates that you should go short on President Bloomberg.